Playfully At Your Side

We were in your car

I was giddy. Sometimes I get that way.

But rarely do I show that side to anyone

And you were not anyone

You were the one

But at that moment

You were the one on the phone 

Your stepfather's on the other end

I can hear him

The man that raised you 

Long after the other one accepted another offer

So I sat there quietly

But you know me

You know me

I get real fidgety

Or at least I did back then

It's funny how all my nervousness left

when you did

I guess you took it 

Or perhaps its just another petty theft to blame on cupid

Now back to me being stupid

And you're looking out the driver's side

You've turned a bit and there's a little bit of your back exposed to me

And I can't help but be giddy

I start tapping you at your side

playfully at your side

I even turned the radio down so you didn't have to go outside 

I am being quiet

Just tapping you playfully

Playfully on your side

Because I am on your side

While at your side

Your passenger side

You turned to face me

And the look on your face debased me

It was anything but happy

I knew that I was irritating you

Me silently interrupting you two

Because you were on the phone 

It's rude to talk while someone is on the phone

And I'm not rude

Call me anything you wish

But you can never call me that

I was interrupting

But in my subtle way 

There was something I wanted to say

I was trying to tell you

Giddy me was happy me

For I was happilly

Playfully at your side

I'd consider it a point of pride

That I hadn't known such happiness

We didn't grow up the same

At that time I didn't trust giddy

So I rarely allowed myself to be

But we're in the parking lot

Minutes away from shopping for Thanksgiving

Usually you go back home this late in the year

I don't get those holidays

Maybe I haven't earned the right to even have them

But I got this one

So I was giddy

Playfully at your side

Poking you in your side

Nothing sharp, I'm gentle with you

Always

So very gentle with you

I'm just letting you know that I'm happy you're here

I'm happy you forgave me

I'm happy you love me

Happy that this is happening

Hey? Guess I do believe in meant to be

But that look is killing me

That look says so much

You don't like me poking you in your side

Gently or otherwise

That look says stop

And I do

Because those are words to honor

Even when they go unspoken

I read you like my favorite book

Battered and falling apart

Hey just like me 

Eventually, it was just me

So I stop

But you don't

Your blue eyes flash with something that feels a lot like anger

And I don't know why

Those eyes my god those eyes and mine would lock when we spent our time how we spent our time

But now those eye

Those eye and mine

See each other differently this time

Irritation is welcome

I am poking you in your side

Playfully at your side

But you don't want this poking to continue

And I have stopped

You have not

You feel this need to do something

I feel you feel it too

I can read you too, I'm your Life of Pi

You gave into the part of you that still hates 

me

And I see my girl flash before my mind

I see her disappear down the line

Something changed in that car that day

I started to lose you and you lost me

Even though there's still months left

This romance of ours reached

a slow death 

And that's left is agony

In agony I find

And as it lays dying

I remember 

All those nights we spoke

When we spoke of your father

Speaking to your mother with his hands

How his father told him that he needed to put her in her place

I often wonder

I often wonder why

You tried to put me in mine